Hello guys. Welcome to my very first text commentary on videos made by random people. I will mostly use ones that I think are bad. So, let's get started on Mike Matei's review on all South Park games for the Nintendo 64, made in 2009.
For those people who don't know, Mike Matei is a part of Cinemassacre, which has a lot of shows, like Board James, YKWBS (You Know What's Bullsh*t), and the most famous, the Angry Video Game Nerd. Mike Matei is known as being a part of Board James, under the name "Motherf***er Mike", and is also famous for being the title card writer for AVGN episodes, he even played roles in AVGN episodes. Enough history lessons, let's get on with the video.
0:07 - 0:31 It begins with Mike telling us that he was a huge fan of the South Park TV show, and he's saying despite mentioning that Nintendo leans towards kid-friendly material, and he figured that South Park games would be uninteresting because it's watered down, but he says he's wrong that the games ARE faithful to the show in terms of violence, and wonders how the gameplay stands out now. OK, nothing wrong here.
0:36 He mentions that the games are also released on Playstation & Dreamcast, but he doesn't acknowledge that they were also released on home computers.
0:45 - 1:02 Wikipedia facts.
1:05 - 1:28 Here he explains the plot and also mentions how the only enemies in the game are turkeys. *hits buzzer* Nope. There are more enemies later on the game apart from turkeys. And remember when he said he was a huge fan of the show? This statement pretty much retcons what he said about the show earlier. Incase you want to know, the first part of the game is based off the 8th episode of the 1st season, Starvin' Marvin. The major element of the episode, apart from the character Starvin' Marvin, is that loads of mutant turkeys are attacking the town of South Park.
1:37 - 1:43 He mentions that the gameplay is bad because there is very little variation, you just shoot stuff and that is it, he wanted puzzles or something to solve in the game. Well, he was unaware that a lot of FPS games before & after South Park were all about shooting stuff.
2:12 - 2:30 He mentions you have to hit the turkey boss in the head to do damage, but he missed the point that you can also shoot into it's ass, making the fight easier. He also mentions that some people were able to win in the boss fight, but Mike didn't due to the terrible controls. He mentioned earlier that the controls would become very wonky if you aim high or low. He could have easily turned off center return, that would make the camera stay where it was. It is very useful for the turkey boss if you do it the hard way.
3:29 - 3:49 Mike starts talking about the multiplayer mode. He mentions that the frame rate becomes poor if you have 4 players and he mentions that he haven't tried that himself because nobody wanted to play it. Really? I've heard from multiple people that they enjoyed the 4-player multiplayer in this game.
3:52 - 4:23 He starts talking about how he has mixed opinions about the N64 in general, gives an overall opinion on South Park saying he doesn't recommend the game.
4:25 Mike starts talking about Chef's Luv Shack. There's not much I can say for this one, it's pretty accurate for the most part.
5:28 He says that the mini-games are copies of classic arcade games, like Donkey Kong, Asteroids, Fire & Warlords, though he thinks it's Circus. God, he can't even get the games right!
5:43 He mentions that the Chickenlover minigame was the funniest, where you have to guess where the Chickenlover hides in. Here, he doesn't refer to Chickenlover by name. Again, retcons Mike's sentence where he's a huge fan of the show.
6:07 - 6:33 He mentions that Chef's Luv Shack is the best South Park game. He doesn't recommend it for average gamers, he says they should play Mario Party instead. I honestly didn't find it to be very appealing.
6:34 Mike talks about the last game in this review, South Park Rally. He starts comparing it to Mario Kart, where South Park Rally replaces Nintendo characters with South Park characters, and shortly after says that this game is the worst.
7:11 He explains that the goal in some races of South Park Rally is to go through different checkpoints. He says that there's no order in which you collect the checkpoints and you race all over randomly. *hits buzzer again* Actually, you go in a numerical order of checkpoints, 1, 2, 3 & 4. You just have to find the most suitable pathway to the next checkpoint. It actually inspired games like Midnight Club with the checkpoints spread all around the track.
7:26 Next he complains about trying to turn corners. He steers too freaking late, twice! He should have used the breaks more often. Also, he says it's carelessly designed. Yeah, like this video!
7:46 He said earlier the objective of Rally Days #2, where the objective is to collect the trophy and then go through the checkpoints. He says you have to go through all of the checkpoints. Well, he didn't say it, but he thinks that's the objective. Actually, you don't have to go through all of the checkpoints. You just have to go up to Checkpoint 4 as long as you have the trophy.
8:08 Though, if you would have picked a racer who is heavy & fast (Cartman) you could actually steal the trophy from them very easily, though it's also very annoying how you immediately lose the trophy if you touch a single part of the opponent's car. And FYI, there are more race types later on.
8:22 He mentions that there are unlockable characters which would be a reason to keep playing if the game didn't suck. But what about the characters that were not in the N64 version? Like Mrs.Cartman, Sheila Broflovski & Scuzzlebutt? Maybe he didn't have the PS1/Dreamcast/PC versions. And also, he didn't mention that the games doesn't save between the Championship races, which, to me, is dissapointing.
8:34 He mentions how Acclaim was more interested in marking the South Park name and getting kids to buy it-WHAT?! Did you just say kids should buy the games? You just said earlier that they included enough piss, sh** & blood! They are rated M for a reason. Did you forget that South Park is the most controversial cartoon back in the late 90's? Kids watched it, sure, but mothers protested Comedy Central against it. And I'm sure a few kids bought the games as well. Oh well, moving on.
So, the video ends with Mike telling people to play Turok 2 (Seriously? That game sucked balls), Mario Party (makes sense) & Super Mario Kart (Wrong system dude) instead, and tells people just to watch South Park and not to play these games.
Overall, I think this review was not very terrible, but it needed a lot more work. I'm sure that you may say that this is not as good as most of the text-commentaries out there, but hey, it's the first one I made so far. Rate, comment, and be sure to follow my blog! If this post becomes successful, I'll be sure to make more like this in the future.
For those people who don't know, Mike Matei is a part of Cinemassacre, which has a lot of shows, like Board James, YKWBS (You Know What's Bullsh*t), and the most famous, the Angry Video Game Nerd. Mike Matei is known as being a part of Board James, under the name "Motherf***er Mike", and is also famous for being the title card writer for AVGN episodes, he even played roles in AVGN episodes. Enough history lessons, let's get on with the video.
0:07 - 0:31 It begins with Mike telling us that he was a huge fan of the South Park TV show, and he's saying despite mentioning that Nintendo leans towards kid-friendly material, and he figured that South Park games would be uninteresting because it's watered down, but he says he's wrong that the games ARE faithful to the show in terms of violence, and wonders how the gameplay stands out now. OK, nothing wrong here.
0:36 He mentions that the games are also released on Playstation & Dreamcast, but he doesn't acknowledge that they were also released on home computers.
0:45 - 1:02 Wikipedia facts.
1:05 - 1:28 Here he explains the plot and also mentions how the only enemies in the game are turkeys. *hits buzzer* Nope. There are more enemies later on the game apart from turkeys. And remember when he said he was a huge fan of the show? This statement pretty much retcons what he said about the show earlier. Incase you want to know, the first part of the game is based off the 8th episode of the 1st season, Starvin' Marvin. The major element of the episode, apart from the character Starvin' Marvin, is that loads of mutant turkeys are attacking the town of South Park.
1:37 - 1:43 He mentions that the gameplay is bad because there is very little variation, you just shoot stuff and that is it, he wanted puzzles or something to solve in the game. Well, he was unaware that a lot of FPS games before & after South Park were all about shooting stuff.
2:12 - 2:30 He mentions you have to hit the turkey boss in the head to do damage, but he missed the point that you can also shoot into it's ass, making the fight easier. He also mentions that some people were able to win in the boss fight, but Mike didn't due to the terrible controls. He mentioned earlier that the controls would become very wonky if you aim high or low. He could have easily turned off center return, that would make the camera stay where it was. It is very useful for the turkey boss if you do it the hard way.
3:29 - 3:49 Mike starts talking about the multiplayer mode. He mentions that the frame rate becomes poor if you have 4 players and he mentions that he haven't tried that himself because nobody wanted to play it. Really? I've heard from multiple people that they enjoyed the 4-player multiplayer in this game.
3:52 - 4:23 He starts talking about how he has mixed opinions about the N64 in general, gives an overall opinion on South Park saying he doesn't recommend the game.
4:25 Mike starts talking about Chef's Luv Shack. There's not much I can say for this one, it's pretty accurate for the most part.
5:28 He says that the mini-games are copies of classic arcade games, like Donkey Kong, Asteroids, Fire & Warlords, though he thinks it's Circus. God, he can't even get the games right!
5:43 He mentions that the Chickenlover minigame was the funniest, where you have to guess where the Chickenlover hides in. Here, he doesn't refer to Chickenlover by name. Again, retcons Mike's sentence where he's a huge fan of the show.
6:07 - 6:33 He mentions that Chef's Luv Shack is the best South Park game. He doesn't recommend it for average gamers, he says they should play Mario Party instead. I honestly didn't find it to be very appealing.
6:34 Mike talks about the last game in this review, South Park Rally. He starts comparing it to Mario Kart, where South Park Rally replaces Nintendo characters with South Park characters, and shortly after says that this game is the worst.
7:11 He explains that the goal in some races of South Park Rally is to go through different checkpoints. He says that there's no order in which you collect the checkpoints and you race all over randomly. *hits buzzer again* Actually, you go in a numerical order of checkpoints, 1, 2, 3 & 4. You just have to find the most suitable pathway to the next checkpoint. It actually inspired games like Midnight Club with the checkpoints spread all around the track.
7:26 Next he complains about trying to turn corners. He steers too freaking late, twice! He should have used the breaks more often. Also, he says it's carelessly designed. Yeah, like this video!
7:46 He said earlier the objective of Rally Days #2, where the objective is to collect the trophy and then go through the checkpoints. He says you have to go through all of the checkpoints. Well, he didn't say it, but he thinks that's the objective. Actually, you don't have to go through all of the checkpoints. You just have to go up to Checkpoint 4 as long as you have the trophy.
8:08 Though, if you would have picked a racer who is heavy & fast (Cartman) you could actually steal the trophy from them very easily, though it's also very annoying how you immediately lose the trophy if you touch a single part of the opponent's car. And FYI, there are more race types later on.
8:22 He mentions that there are unlockable characters which would be a reason to keep playing if the game didn't suck. But what about the characters that were not in the N64 version? Like Mrs.Cartman, Sheila Broflovski & Scuzzlebutt? Maybe he didn't have the PS1/Dreamcast/PC versions. And also, he didn't mention that the games doesn't save between the Championship races, which, to me, is dissapointing.
8:34 He mentions how Acclaim was more interested in marking the South Park name and getting kids to buy it-WHAT?! Did you just say kids should buy the games? You just said earlier that they included enough piss, sh** & blood! They are rated M for a reason. Did you forget that South Park is the most controversial cartoon back in the late 90's? Kids watched it, sure, but mothers protested Comedy Central against it. And I'm sure a few kids bought the games as well. Oh well, moving on.
So, the video ends with Mike telling people to play Turok 2 (Seriously? That game sucked balls), Mario Party (makes sense) & Super Mario Kart (Wrong system dude) instead, and tells people just to watch South Park and not to play these games.
Overall, I think this review was not very terrible, but it needed a lot more work. I'm sure that you may say that this is not as good as most of the text-commentaries out there, but hey, it's the first one I made so far. Rate, comment, and be sure to follow my blog! If this post becomes successful, I'll be sure to make more like this in the future.
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